If You Care, You Have a Funny Way of Showing It

Some people claim to care, but their actions tell a different story. They may say all the right things, but their behavior speaks louder. They focus solely on their own needs, rarely go out of their way for others, and think nothing of taking advantage of someone — and that’s just the beginning. While they may not intend to hurt or offend others, their actions often have that effect. In short, if they care, they have a funny way of showing it.

While you may be thinking, “That doesn’t sound like me,” it’s still worth reflecting — especially if your relationships matter to you. If you treat some people thoughtlessly, you might be doing the same to others. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward change.

Actions Speak Louder than Slogans

When reflecting on your behavior, ask yourself: Do I make people feel they’re a priority, or do I treat them as an afterthought? Do I take the time to make them feel special, or assume they already know? Do I express gratitude for all they do, or take them for granted?

This isn’t just about personal relationships — it applies to business as well. Despite signs declaring, “Customers come first,” employees don’t always uphold that principle. Again, ask yourself: Do we prioritize company convenience over how we treat customers? Do we mistreat employees, knowing they might take out their frustration on customers? Do we push immediate sales at the expense of long-term relationships — showing that profits take precedence over everything else?

Let Your Actions Do the Talking

Words express what’s on your mind, but your actions reveal what’s in your heart. What do the following actions say about you?

From a personal standpoint, do you:

Show you care every day, or only on special occasions?
Offer help when it’s needed most, or avoid getting involved?
Believe mistreatment can always be fixed with an apology?
Make an effort to be present in others’ lives, or try to buy their affection?
Pull your weight, or expect others to carry the load?
Accept friends as they are, or try to change them?
Build win-win relationships, or strive for winner takes all?
Act like a considerate guest, or behave as if you own the place?
Volunteer to help and do your part, or wait to be asked?
Seek balance in relationships, or take advantage of others’ good nature?
Change your behavior after a wrongdoing, or offer a meaningless apology?
Put thought into gifts and heartfelt notes, or treat them as obligations?
Acknowledge others’ efforts, or overlook them because you’re preoccupied?
Celebrate others’ victories, or envy their success?
Address others’ needs, or focus only on your own?

From a business standpoint, do you:

Treat prospects with care before the sale, then abandon them afterward?
Make customers feel like you’re doing them a favor by serving them?
Go the extra mile for customers, or wait for complaints before acting?
Nickel-and-dime customers with hidden fees to boost profits?
Give small customers the same attention as large ones?
Know your long-time customers’ preferences, or treat them like first-time buyers?
Fully disclose information, or bury key details in the fine print?
Honor promises, or break commitments regularly?
Cancel meetings for “more important” customers?
Stand by your products, or stop supporting them after the sale?
Make it easy for customers to resolve issues, or leave them to fend for themselves?
Disappoint customers, then refuse to apologize?
Fail to respond to customers in a timely manner?
Demand customer loyalty without offering it in return?
Take loyal customers for granted?

Give of Yourself Rather than Get for Yourself

Most of these issues boil down to greed. If you believe this attitude will benefit you, you’re sadly mistaken.

To earn the trust of your friends and the loyalty of your customers, shift your focus from what you can gain to what you can give. You’ll be surprised at how your actions are reciprocated. In the end, the more you focus on others, the more they’ll focus on you — that’s a win-win relationship. The more you give, the more you get.

Check out Frank’s latest book, BECOME: Unleash the Power of Moral Character and Be Proud of the Life You Choose